Crooks Shot the Crook: Miracles and Conspiracies

Ignorant people, like the American, Lebanese and other bigoted religious people, never take a fact for what it is. They are "deplorables" as Hillary Clinton once referred to them. They do not believe in coincidences, chance occurrences, or happenstances. They must always look for someone or something else behind every event. The whole world is being run by conspirators smoking cigars and fucking children in dark rooms. That is why they are very religious people: Since God or the Devil or their respective representatives on earth (e.g. George Soros, Bill Gates, the Pope, the CIA, the KGB, etc.) are behind anything and everything, so it must be with every day life event.

Trump turned his head and the bullet missed his cranium and grazed his ear. 

For right-wing imbeciles, this is a sign from God. God must have told Trump at the speed of light that a bullet was coming his way, so he'd better turn his thick head (an easy target) a mere 1/100th of an inch, which he did, thus saving him from certain death. After all, Trump had been anointed by the acerebral child-molesting Evangelicals as the Messiah who has returned to save America (although when he came the first time to Bronze Age Palestine, there was no known America around). Mind you that the Evangelical morons want to save only America and Israel; the other 8.5 billion people on earth can go to hell. They are not needed in heaven. America needs saving from Communists, Socialists, dark-skinned people, Catholics, Jews, Muslims, Arabs, Hindus, Sikhs, Buddhists, Mormons, Mennonites, Quakers, Satanists, Voodoo worshippers, animists, Orthodox Christians, etc. And Israel needs saving from their own Palestinian victims because now that the prophecy of the Jewish people returning to their Yahweh-gifted Palestine has been fulfilled with much killing, rapes, demolition, carnage, and violence against the indigenous Palestinians, the Jews will have to convert en masse to Evangelical Christianity, otherwise the Evangelicals themselves will perpetrate another Holocaust to bring any remaining recalcitrant Jews finally to the Jesus whom they rejected and killed in the year 33 AD.

For left-wing imbeciles, Trump has arranged and produced the stage-shooting movie: He has hired the Crooks fellow, a registered Republican, to shoot him exactly in the ear and spill a few drops of blood (enough to make Trump a martyr to his MAGA numskulls), and allow Trump to raise his fist and tell his followers to "fight, fight, fight..." even as he was been whisked away by the Secret Service.  If I had been genuinely publicly shot in the ear, the last thing on my mind would be to send a message to the audience. I'd be concerned about my life and not delaying my forced evacuation from the stage, lest there'd be another shooter. Therefore, Trump knew he was going to be shot and he was ready to make a scene out of the situation in order to raise his standings in the polls. He's the Devil after all. That explains why the Secret Service did not inspect the building rooftop where the shooter was; it was all part of the plan, and why the crowd behind Trump kept watching the movie as if their own lives were not in danger: They must have been told not to panic.