"Sister-in-Jesus" Karoline Leavitt has God on her Side

White House Press Secretary, the bimbo-in-chief Karoline Leavitt, said that an earthquake recorded in Utah last week was a sign of God’s anger at the shooting death of MAGA extremist Charlie Kirk.

Her scholarship on the Torah-Old Testament garbage is tremendous. Liberty University should grant her a Doctorate Honoris Causa for the dissertation she wrote, posted and defended as follows:

On Instagram, the morbidly religious scholar said: 

“On the night Charlie was shot, a 4.1 earthquake struck Utah. In scripture, 40 represents trials; 41 signifies a shift. It hit at 5:57 local time, 7:57 Eastern.”

“Acts 7:57 describes Stephen, the first martyr, stoned as the crowd silenced his truth. The Bible says the earth trembles when God is angry. That night, as a voice was silenced, the ground groaned.”

She reposted the screenshot of a Twitter post, adding: “Wow.”

With people like her at the helm, no wonder America is becoming Great Again, and by "Great" they mean as backward as the 1600s could have been, with witch hunts, carnivorous genocides, biblical bacchanalia, and otherwise unfettered barbarity of the English settlers.

The University of Utah reported a 4.1 magnitude earthquake at 5:57 pm local time, hours after Kirk was shot dead as he spoke at Utah Valley University.

In support of her garbage thesis, Leavitt is offering an explanation: she has firm testable evidence that the time of the earthquake, 7:75 pm EST is propheized by the Torah-Old Testament in Acts 7, verse 57, which recounts the story of Saint Stephen being stoned to death. Hence, Kirk is a 21st century reincarnation of Saint Stephen.

This is literally an earth-shattering discovery that Trump can use to launch America to further heights of barbarity and depravity into the future. Imagine: Bronze Age idiocy is connected to 21st century seismology!!!! 

The violent death of Kirk, a 31-year old conservative extremist of the radical Right, was a close accolyte of the MAGA court of Chairman Donald Hump. For example, it was Kirk's instructions that led Trump to choose then-Ohio senator J.D. Vance as his vice-president. Maybe Leavitt's scholarship can illuminate us on whether the stars were aligned for Vance or whether Vance was also prophesized in the bible as America's bearded savior, after Jesus.

Now, the Radical extremist Right is blaming Kirk's assassination, not on Trump's own virulent violence in his mediocre language skills against any perceived opponent or critic, but on an “incredibly destructive movement of left wing extremism” that apparently had grown within the U.S. over the past few years.

According to Vance, Prophet Charlie of MAGA, “was a critical part of getting Donald Trump elected as president, getting me elected as vice president, and so much of our success over the last seven months is due to his efforts, his staffing, his support and his friendship." Case closed. No need for more crappy biblical citations. 

Leavitt also said that Kirk had been “so inspiring to me as a young conservative woman” and said she met him during her  failed 2022 campaign for a New Hampshire House seat. Why her Savior Jesus and Prophet Kirk's intercession with the divine did not ensure her victory remains a mystery, for God as many of us have often heard (absent real evidence) that God works in mysterious ways.