Record High Heat Wave in the US: It's Joe Biden's Fault

Tongue in cheek: If Donald Dumb had been president over the past 30 years, none of this so-called climate change would have happened. But because it happened under Obama and Biden, it's their fault.

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Record high temperatures in the current heat wave will bake the central and eastern U.S., through much of next week.

Salt Lake City registered 104 degrees Fargenheit (40ْ C), its first high this season.

The National Weather Service, which Trump and Musk have winnowed down, has issued extreme heat watches, warnings and heat advisories for large swaths of the central and eastern U.S..

The heat will travel from west to east: Plains and upper Mississippi Valley through Sunday while the rest of Mississippi Valley could be hit through much of next week, extending through the eastern parts of the midwest, the mid-Atlantic and Appalachia. Finally in the northeast, the heat will reach it Sunday with relief in New England by Wednesday. .

Sunday through Tuesday, some locations could hit or top 100 degrees during the heat wave, including Denver Friday and Saturday, which only happens twice a year on average. Boston, New York City, Philadelphia and Washington, D.C. could near the century mark during the peak of the heat wave. Some locations could do so multiple days during the heat wave.

Brutal humidity will accompany the heat wave, particularly in the Mississippi and Ohio Valleys, and parts of the mid-Atlantic and Northeast.

But relax: Donald Dumb and RFK Jr. are working on it. According to their quantum physics computations, the trajectory and intensity of the heat wave could be altered by standing naked on the Mar-al-Lago's golf course while humming "Born in the USA", praying to the goddess Vodou Loa of Hawaii and snacking on the newly marketed "Trumpamins" supplement pills which consist of OEM Made-in-China vitamins blessed by Donald Dumb himself.