Lebanon Earns Most Severe Travel Warning by Trump's US

As the summer season is upon us and Lebanon is in dire need of tourists, Donald Dumb has decided to place Lebanon in the most severely restricted travel destination category.

This is at a time when Lebanon is beginning to emerge from 50 years of foreign-induced warfare by shithole countries like Iran, Israel, Syria, and other Arab countries. The money-obsessed Lebanese are desperately seeking to have anyone come spend a few dollars this summer to the otherwise boring Lebanese tourism industry. Fake western-style parties on beaches illegally owned by the corrupt politicians, unsafe food in a deeply unregulated environment, the risks associated with the ongoing warfare between the criminal Zionist settlers and the equally criminal Shiite Muslims of Hezbollah, garbage everywhere, the risks associated with the maniacal driving habits of Lebanese drivers in an environment where road safety and codes are absolutely ignored and unenforce by Lebanese police, and the creme de la creme: religious tourism where "faithful" tourists come to contemplate the huge difference between the aspirational religious beliefs the Lebanese claim on one hand, and their bigoted practices that are far removed from any morality and ethical standards on the other hand.

But Donald Dumb is helping. His State Department has Issued 'Do Not Travel' warning for 21 countries, including Lebanon. US citizens are told "NOT TO TRAVEL TO LEBANON" under the most severe of its four categories of warnings and advisories.

Level 1 travel advisory: "Exercise Normal Precautions". This is in place in popular tourist destinations like Japan, Bermuda, and the Cayman Islands and simply to remind travelers to be safe and exercise caution while overseas even if there is no explicit threat.

Level 2 travel advisory: "Exercise Increased Caution." This applies to countries where there is not an explicit threat or danger, but crime and risks prevail: Saudi Arabia, China, and Spain.

Level 3 advisory tells travelers to "Reconsider Travel." This applies to countries the US deems inherently dangerous because of heightened risks of crime, civil unrest, or terrorism. This warning is in place for 23 different countries including Chad, Niger, Egypt, Jamaica, and Colombia.

Level 4 advisory is the most serious, telling US travelers simply to "Do Not Travel" there. This is the most severe and applies to countries with active armed conflict, dangerous crimes where foreigners are targeted, and enemies of the United States. This list incljudes 21 different countries including Burkina Faso, Yemen, Iran, South Sudan, Syria, the Democratic Republic of the Congo, Afghanistan, Lebanon, the Central African Republic, Belarus, Iraq, Ukraine, Venezuela, Haiti, Libya, Somalia, Russia, Burma, Mali, North Korea, and Sudan.

The question now is how will, say, European tourists react. They are definitely NOT going to the US because Trump is persecuting foreigners of all stripes, including those from friendly countries like the UKL, Germany and others. For having a mosquito crushed by accident between their passport pages, the US Customs and Border Protection Police could detain, shackle, strip and handcuff the tourist for "violating US regulations" and bringing unauthorized dirty animals into the sublimely clean and virginal US.  Instead of 10 days on a Hawaiian beach, the said European tourists might find themselves in a cage in the swamps of Louisina or worse be sent by mistake to notorious concentration camps in El Salvador.

But will they risk their lives to come to Lebanon to sift through the garbage strewn everywhere in neglected 7,000-years old archeological sites? Or be faced with an Israeli missile or drone strike? Or be held hostage by the Iranian militia of Hezbollah? 

Perhaps there is a very profitable business idea behind all of this: TERROTOURISM. As a business, you could sign up to be flown to Lebanon, have your plane hijacked, be held by pseudo-terrorists in dingy basements, be driven to war-torn areas of the country.... OMG, the adrenaline rush! Much better than the Louisiana prison!