At his latest colonoscopy, doctors discovered and removed this thing from old man Aoun's caudal aperture, just before he walked out of Baabda. They concluded that inaction and lethargy while in office can lead to such excrescences in one's bowels.
Ashamed of giving this contraption to Aoun's daughters, the doctors gave it to his con-in-law Zebran Basij who is discussing with Hezbollah what to do with it, since it can no longer be pointed at Israel.
Problem for us is if Basij decides to give it another home in his own posterior sphincter, it might seat him in Baabda, according to the laws of reciprocity. But there are risks with such a proposition, for if the "resistance" decides to resume resisting some day (it hasn't since 2006), it might launch Basij to new heights at supersonic speed.
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