This goes for both men and women.
I am surrounded by people who do things because they are expected to. Not because they like it. I see many people living like sheep in a herd being led by "standards" other people set for them. Very few of us have the courage to say, think, and do what they REALLY like to say, think and do.
Below is a fantastic rundown of such society-imposed criteria that many women don't care about but feel forced to accept. Notice that the vast majority of these "things" have to do with "consuming". We are no longer people or citizens; we have become "consumers", or "patients", or similarly market-oriented labels. We are made to live in a sequence of "events" destined to make us consume crap and bullshit: Christmas, Valentine, Thanksgiving, Easter, etc. and they all have their own follow-ups. In our consumer society we have simply imposed "secular" Zeitgebers over those that religious societies still have.
Every day in Christian societies is some Saint's day... People's lives are suffocated with all the customs that each holiday requires. Christmas, Epiphany, Lent, Good Friday and the disgusting bloody crucifixion of the hero, Easter (when the hero rises from the dead), the Pentecost, Saint this and Saint that .... People have no time to liberate their thoughts from the stranglehold of religious holidays that beat the drums of their lives every day and every year until they die. In really backward religious socities (e.g. Lebanon) church bells toll almost every day, and on some saint's day, they toll through the night. Masses are broadcast on loudspeakers, a very annoying thing even if you're a believer, and this is often done to spite the Muslims who have their own stanglehold on their faithful. Denying the existence of God in Lebanon is a crime against the constitution.
In Muslim societies, same thing. The Mosques blare their prayers five times a day on loudspeakers. Then there are the "eid"s. The word "eid" means "feast". So Muslim lives ricochet from Eid al-Fitr at the close of a long month of annoying fasting, the month of Ramadan, to the birthday of the Prophet, to Eid al-Adha, the feast of the sacrifice during which millions of sheep are slaughtered and which is a copyright infringment on the other monotheistic cult of Judaism. Whereas Jews believe that Abraham nearly killed Isaac (born to 100-year old Sarah) in sacrifice to Yahweh, Muslims believe that Abraham actually nearly killed Ismael (born to fornicator Abraham's maid Hagar) in sacrifice to Allah. Isn't it nice of the Jews to create the myth that the Arabs-Muslims are illegitimate bastards who descend from adultery with the maid, whereas they themselves descend from the real wife?
Not to mention the Muslim New Year... yes, each of these three monotheistic cults has its own calendar. Too proud to all agree on one friggin' calendar. Then the birthday of the prophet. Then for the Shiite sub-cult that celebrates more bloodshed with Ashura in which the faithful walk the streets by the thousands, cutting their scalps and skin with knives and enjoying the blood running down the street. Very much what ignorant Christians used to do - some may still do - walking the streets and whipping themselves to blood in atonement and beggaring God to stop the Black Plague.
Despite their claims, the three monotheistic cults are all one gigantic endless orgy of violence.
Nowadays, I don't understand how thousands of people can pretend to like standing in huge crowded amphitheaters listening to a crappy noisy barrage of synthetic artificial music while swaying and holding their stupid cell phones. It must be the herd instinct, or peer pressure. Each individual in there is probably not enjoying the moment, but is merely pretending to, so as not to upset their friends. It takes courage to stand against the trend and just be yourself. These "concerts" are like religious services where hundreds and thousands of people gather because they "must", not because they want to.
Liberate yourself. Just do what you want, not what you must, and f - - - your community if it doesn't agree with you and cast you out.
By the way No 17 below applies particularly to me. My so-called "friends" all turned out to be assholes as time went by.
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"I’m Tired Of Pretending It’s Fine": Women Are Sharing The Things They Stopped "Pretending To Enjoy" After Turning 30
Raven Ishak
Sat, September 6, 2025
A lot can change once you turn 30, especially what you choose to no longer tolerate. So when we asked the BuzzFeed Community: "Women, what’s something you stopped pretending to enjoy after turning 30?" so many of them shared their experiences below:
1."Sharing a bed! So much better sleep when you sleep ALONE! Sleep divorce is real, and it’s great!"
Freshsplash / Getty Images
—Anonymous, 65, Chicago
2."Over the last decade, I have stopped worrying about what is taboo to talk about. Women are liberating themselves all over the place, so I decided it was fine to talk about poop. Yes, poop. It’s the highlight of my day. I feel amazing afterwards. And if you have a good one, tell me about it! I’m happy for you. Nothing is more freeing than enjoying everything about your day. #FecalFreedom"
—Anonymous, 41, Houston, TX
3."I stopped shaving my armpits. I hate how itchy it feels growing back, and it's just hair. Who cares."
Helena Babanova / Getty Images
—Anonymous, 43, Kamloops, BC
4."I stopped wearing makeup most of the time. With my fair complexion, it’s hard to tell I even have eyelashes without makeup, but this is me, and I don’t want to hide behind a face of makeup or really bother with the time and energy it takes each day. If I’m running errands or just going to an appointment, then I’m not getting all dolled up. When I wear makeup now, it’s because I want to (not because I feel like I have to just to look acceptable), and in that situation, it makes me feel pretty. But most days I’m happy to wash my face and head out. I also love how much better my face feels regularly without makeup!"
—Anonymous, 44, Tonawanda, New York
5."Concerts! Do I like the artist? Sure. But do I listen to EVERY SONG on their album and their whole career? No. Am I willing to stand for hours in the same venue with thousands of people after 9 p.m.? ABSOLUTELY NOT."
Carlos Barquero / Getty Images
—Anonymous, 32, Boston
6."Late nights out. Lots of my friends still enjoy going out and dancing/clubbing, but I'd rather be in bed by 10 p.m., not arriving at the destination."
—Anonymous, 31, Connecticut
7."I realized after turning 50 that being around too many people causes me to have anxiety. I have been lucky to work from home since 2020 and don’t miss any small talk, office therapy sessions, sitting on the interstate for hours to get to and from work, or people just being loud and obnoxious. Everything I do can be discussed in a Microsoft Teams meeting."
Grant Faint / Getty Images
—Anonymous, 65, Virginia
8."Stopped saying 'yes' to as many things that further take from my cup rather than fill it just because I feel a sense of obligation."
—Anonymous, 31, USA
9."I gave up my husband after 38 years. A very self-centered man, who I realized would never take care of me the way I took care of him. It was an exhausting existence. I am so much happier and can live what I hope will be 20 years peacefully. Grateful."
Jason Dean / Getty Images
—Anonymous
10."Three things: 1. I hate baby showers and wedding showers —I’m not interested in being around a bunch of women I don’t even know, trapped into making small talk. I send a nice gift and take a pass. 2. I also stopped caring what people thought of me once I realized it didn’t matter, and I’d never want to trade lives with them anyway. 3. I stopped announcing my every move and sharing all of my life on Facebook. I’d rather be busy living than doom scrolling for the latest gossip and what people ate last night."
—Anonymous
11."Drinking. It’s not that I didn’t enjoy it occasionally, but there’s a social expectation to join in when everyone else is. I realized that a lot of people were just projecting because they wanted to get a little messy, but didn’t want to be the only one. Now, I order a mocktail and turn down shooters without giving a toot about what others have to say about it. I can still have a good time without the booze."
Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images
—Anonymous
12."Excusing the bad behavior of my family. Just because we are related does not mean I need to defend the fact that they choose to make poor life choices. I will never again attempt to explain away the bad actions of my parents, siblings, or anyone else, for that matter."
—Anonymous, 35, Ohio
13."In my 50s, I got tired of trying to take care of my hair. I got my head shaved. I love it. No more shampoo. No more hat hair in the winter. No more having to waste time trying to style it in the morning. No more having to push it off my forehead because it's annoying me."
Fatcamera / Getty Images
—Anonymous, 57, Victoria B.C.
14."Finally realized I don’t actually want to have kids. I like my life and my peace: the freedom to have slow weekend mornings with tea and a book on my back porch or a spontaneous trip. I’m unlearning and rejecting the many societal pressures that have been instilled in women. I love kids, but my worth is not tied to having them."
—Anonymous, 31, USA
15."Underwire bras and shoes that are cute but are only available in half a size too small. I used to buy them because they make my boobs look good, and I love cute shoes. But the bras dig into my ribs (say what you want about the right fit, but I haven't found it), and the shoes pinch. So I wear Chucks with skirts and bras with no wire, no seams, and no clasp, or no bra."
Oleg Elkov / Getty Images
—Anonymous, 43, Brazil
16."Gossip. It’s toxic and a cheap way to make 'friends.' It messes up workplaces, families, neighborhoods, and friend groups. Other than occasionally venting to a close friend I can confide in and trust to keep things between us, I don’t say things behind people's backs that I would be embarrassed if it got back to them. When other people gossip, I try to come from a place of compassion and then change the subject."
—Anonymous, 35, Colorado
17. "I stopped pretending to enjoy keeping in touch with friends, even if they didn’t also reach out to me. I was initiating the call, email, or text, and while they always enjoyed hearing from me, I began to notice that if I didn’t make the first move, I wouldn’t hear from them. Now, I don’t waste time reaching out to anyone who doesn’t also reach out to me on occasion. My friend list has dwindled to only a few, but I feel loved and valued. I no longer feel like I’m the only one putting in effort for the friendship."
Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images
—Anonymous, 50, California
18."Oral sex. I don’t like giving it, I don’t like receiving it. I’m tired of pretending it’s fine because I hate it."
—Anonymous
19.And finally, "No destination birthday parties, showers, or weddings. I’ll send a gift, but don’t expect me to spend thousands to travel and stay in a pricey hotel just to be polite to your friends and relatives."
Pixdeluxe / Getty Images
—Anonymous, 60, Connecticut
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