Monday, October 12, 2015

Lebanon's New Flag

For thousands of years, Lebanon was known for its cedar tree. Forests of the tree covered the entire mountain chain. The Lebanese, filthy merchants of anything that makes money (they'd sell their mothers if they could fetch a good price), sold the timber to kings, pharaohs, emperors and such from antiquity. The mountain was barren, except for the pine tree and oak that took over. The cedar even adorned the Lebanese flag for some time.

Then modernity came, and the Lebanese, as the imitating baboons that they are of every piece of filth that the West manufactures, discovered that their springs and their mountain fountains and sources and rivers and brooks, with clean water was not cool enough for them. It was a little "peasant"-like, low class, not up to the imitating baboon code of conduct, and so they opted instead for the civilized, modern and cool plastic bottle.

My brother yelled at me the other day because I still go a spring in one of the mountain towns and fill up my two water jugs for drinking water. He said the water is contaminated. He truly believes that the filtered tap water coming in the form of plastic bottles is safer. The government itself does not believe in delivering drinking water to the homes, for the same reason: Water from the tap is so archaic and obsolete, that the Ministry of Health insists on people buying water by the plastic jug.

So, the Lebanese government, in a rare moment of unity, decreed yesterday to change the Lebanese flag and replace the dead cedar with the brand new shiny plastic bottle. Here is our new flag. I get emotional at the sight of this old country embracing modernity like this.