Tourist Actvities in Lebanon: Reality TERRO-TOURISM"

Beirut - June 25, 2010

Lebanon Iznogood

Would you like to feel the thrill of flying into Beirut Airport, be kidnapped and chained in a dingy basement for a couple of days, then wrapped in Saran-Wrap and taped to the belly of a car and driven through Beirut's smoky polluted traffic? Or experience the high adrenaline rush of walking into a street gunfight between Israelis and Hezbollah fighters, feel a gut-wrenching supersonic boom from a low-flying jet and the bombing of a building on the street you just happen to be walking by? Or be taken hostage and driven to the Greco-Roman city of Baalbeck (now Hezbollah's headquarters) and be entangled in an international intrigue between Syrian intelligence, the Israeli Mossad, German negotiators, and US diplomatic acrobatics, then be "released" in Damascus into the hands of Syrian Intelligence and be congratulated by US embassy and State Department officials and be interviewed by Wolf Blitzer on CNN? Or, since Lebanon is a very liberal country like Switzerland and Holland, you can arrange for your own death under such exciting conditions - a form of Reality Assisted Suicide. It definitely beats dying in a bed with a shot of phenobarbital like a loser.

Any of those scenarios and more can be arranged by one Hassan Labloub, a Lebanese Shiite from the southern suburbs of Beirut and a Hezbollah supporter who is on a mission to promote homegrown Lebanese tourism. Eco-tourism has not taken root in Lebanon, because the country is unsafe and is constantly at war, the forests are gone because of quarries and deforestation, the beaches have all been taken by private developers in cahoots with government officials and are inaccessible to ordinary people. So, Hezbollah is on a campaign to promote tourism for modest income foreigners - who must also sympathize with Hezbollah's Islamic liberation theology and have a basic hatred of Jews and Christians - which is a uniquely Lebanese form of tourism: "TERRO-TOURISM". This consists in experiencing the thrills of what the Lebanese have been living with for decades: Wars, street battles, refugee camps massacres, kidnappings, assassinations, bombings, insecurity, all of which by actors of an international caliber: Iranians, Israelis, Syrians, Americans, Palestinians, Europeans, UN, and of course, the very hospitable hosts, the Lebanese themselves. With tours ranging between $2,000 (a simple kidnapping at Beirut Airport, followed by a drive down the Southern suburbs with Hezbollah fighters, then a release in front of the cameras) and $10,000 (the whole kaboodle described above), Hezbollah hopes to encourage terro-tourism as a homegrown form of tourism and raise funds to continue its struggle for the liberation of non-existent occupied lands in southern Lebanon.

In order to make the prospects of the business more appealing to non-Muslim tourists, Hassan Labloub's partner in this enterprise is a member of the Christian Free Patriotic Movement, Danny Aoun, a distant relative of General Michel Aoun, the leader of the FPM and a political partner and ally of Hassan Nasrallah. This ensures some religious and sectarian balance in the business and encourage foreigners from all walks of life to come to Beirut and enjoy the excitement of life in the war-torn country. Jews are welcome as well, as long as they formally renounce any allegiance and sympathy to Israel upon arrival at Beirut Airport (a simple form to fill out) which is controlled by Hezbollah and by the pro-Syrian, pro-Iranian, anti-American General Security Services.

For further information, please contact the Hezbollah representative at any Iranian embassy or Consular offices. For those Americans in the US, they should contact the offices of Congressman Eliot Engel (D-NY) who worked very closely with General Michel Aoun and is believed to have maintained ties with him. Congressman Engel's office staff will happily refer you to the appropriate contacts in Beirut.

Hanibaal

P.S. The following are examples of thrilling conditions currently existing in Lebanon. Make sure to protect your personal valuables (money, missiles, bombs, etc.) since a wave of weapons and missile thefts is currently sweeping Lebanon.

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Fundamentalists steal missiles from South Lebanon - June 25, 2010

A source who spoke on condition of anonymity told Kuwaiti newspaper As-Seyassah that factions belonging to fundamentalist organizations acquired rockets from an arms depot in South Lebanon. However, he did not say to whom he was referring. 

The missiles were stolen from the storehouse by an unidentified third party and sold to the fundamentalists, the source added.

“A clash broke out between the thieves and guards [of the arms depot], resulting in the injury of three watchmen,” he said, adding the stolen merchandise may soon be used to launch an attack against Israel. 

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New Unidentified Missiles in Southern Lebanon, Report - June 25, 2010
Kuwait's Assiyassah on Friday said members belonging to radical organizations have obtained several rockets through a third party which managed to rob an arms warehouse in southern Lebanon and steal a number of rockets.
It said fierce clashes broke out between the robbers and the warehouse guards that left three guards wounded.

The injured men were taken to a hospital in south Lebanon that belongs to one of the parties amid total media blackout.

Assiyassah said these missiles are likely to be used soon against Israeli territory.

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Report: Islamists Mounting Attacks on Christians in Sidon - June 25, 2010
The Lebanese government has ordered its security forces to prepare for a crackdown against Islamist insurgents who have targeted the Christian community in the south, the World Tribune newspaper reported.
It quoted officials as saying that the government has ordered the military and security forces to conduct a sweep through the Sidon region where Christians have come under steady attack from Islamists believed aligned with the al-Qaida terror network.

Several bombings around Sidon in the past two years have been traced to the Palestinian refugee camp of Ain el-Hilweh, the World Tribune said.

The camp is said to have a significant presence of al-Qaida supporters, it added.  

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Armed Clash in Beirut Southern Suburbs - June 25, 2010
A dispute in Beirut's southern suburbs at midnight developed into a gunbattle between Moussawi and Rabbah family members from one side and men from the Dandash family on the other.
H.R. opened fire on Y.D. and Aa.Mo. threatened to use a hand grenade and toss it although no one was hurt in the clash in al-Barakat neighborhood in Mreijeh, the National News Agency said

Voice of Lebanon radio said no arrests were made in the dispute, which was caused by previous differences between the family members.

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