In a country that cannot provide more than 8 hours of electricity a day to its people; in a country the size of a finch's asshole pretending to liberate Palestine on behalf of 200 million Arab coward jerks; in a country run by a religious-feudal-money Mafia; in a country whose people slaughtered each other and other people by the hundreds of thousands, and half of whose population was displaced; in a country whose people are bent on destroying the very environment that sustains their lives; in a country whose 3 million lazy people employ 300,000 maids; in a country which, year in and year out, does everything it can to plunge head-first into wars it cannot fight.....
The Lebanese government's priority is to decide that national unity - the real one this time, after all the religious massacres and the sectarian divisions that plague the country - is best sealed by declaring the so-called "Annunciation of the Virgin Mary" a national holiday, as if the country did not have enough religious holidays for the lazy Lebanese to grow their fat bellies and abuse their maids and drive their diesel-driven gas guzzlers. We are urged to marvel at the fact that the Muslims - in their extreme tolerance of other religious stupidity - also believe in the "Immaculate Conception", and hence, this newly discovered "common bond" between Christians and Muslims is now coming to save this sectarian-dislocated dysfunctional country from its own religious demise.
Yes, national unity in the 21st century is best defined by a 2,000-year old fantastic story whereby a Jewish teenager by the name of Mary got impregnated out of wedlock by a carpenter, then went around telling people that an angel actually deposited God's sperm in her by some mysterious act of copulation that humans cannot fathom. Yes, in the modern age, this is the best that the Lebanese could come up with as a symbol of Lebanese national unity between Christians and Muslims in the country of Lebanon. I remind you that, at the height of similar religious expressions of unity and brotherhood during the 1970s, 1980s, 1990s and beyond, Lebanese Christian and Muslim militiamen used to pull down the pants of innocent men they stop at their checkpoints and kill them on the spot if they, respectively, were or were not circumcised. Variations on this brotherly religious love included asking the poor passerby to say a prayer in one or the other religion, and you get the idea....
You know, the Greeks used to believe that Aphrodite was born from Zeus's thigh. Christians, Jews and Muslims still believe that Eve was molded from Adam's liver or from some mud (depending on which translation you are willing to believe). Polynesian islanders believe that their islands were born out of the copulation of a sea god with some fish. American Indians believe that the Great Spirit impregnated the earth and that is how they came to be.... Stories, or myths, as Joseph Campbell called them, all made up in the naive minds of humans trying to explain their existence outside the realm of reason.
Onward to progress, my fellow Lebanese, for you think you have discovered the antidote to religious fanaticism: To sink even more in the marshes of religious idiocy. Instead of walking away from your own excrement, you are drowning in it. Good luck.
March 25 National Holiday
Cabinet decided to make March 25 a national holiday to celebrate the Annunciation of the Blessed Virgin Mary.
The decision was taken during a Cabinet meeting on Thursday held under Prime Minister Saad Hariri at the Grand Serail.
"Virgin Mary concerns both Muslims as Christians in the Qoran and the Bible, and this day must be on a joint holiday," Hariri told Cabinet ministers, who promptly agreed.
Feb 19, 2010